I keep hearing a particular gripe about this cultural shift, and maybe you have too. Some people have been calling this movement ‘puritanical’ or ‘a return to Victorian values’, where men can’t behave or speak sexually around dainty, delicate, fragile women. To these people, I want to say: the current system is puritanical. Maybe men can say and do whatever they want, but women cannot. The current system inhibits women from expressing our desires, wants, and needs; from seeking our pleasure. Let me tell you about my own experience.

I keep hearing a particular gripe about this cultural shift, and maybe you have too. Some people have been calling this movement ‘puritanical’ or ‘a return to Victorian values’, where men can’t behave or speak sexually around dainty, delicate, fragile women. To these people, I want to say: the current system is puritanical. Maybe men can say and do whatever they want, but women cannot. The current system inhibits women from expressing our desires, wants, and needs; from seeking our pleasure. Let me tell you about my own experience.

I turned 12 on the set of my first film, The Professional, in which I played a young girl who befriends a hit man and hopes to avenge the murder of her family. [...] I was so excited at 13 when the film was released, and my work and my art would have a human response. I excitedly opened my first fan mail to read a rape fantasy that a man had written me. A countdown was started on my local radio show to my 18th birthday, euphemistically the date that I would be legal to sleep with. Movie reviewers talked about my budding breasts in reviews. [...] At 13 years old, the message from our culture was clear to me. I felt the need to cover my body and to inhibit my expression and my work in order to send my own message to the world that I’m someone worthy of safety and respect. The response to my expression from small comments about my body to more threatening, deliberate statements, served to control my behavior through an environment of sexual terrorism.

I turned 12 on the set of my first film, The Professional, in which I played a young girl who befriends a hit man and hopes to avenge the murder of her family. [...] I was so excited at 13 when the film was released, and my work and my art would have a human response. I excitedly opened my first fan mail to read a rape fantasy that a man had written me. A countdown was started on my local radio show to my 18th birthday, euphemistically the date that I would be legal to sleep with. Movie reviewers talked about my budding breasts in reviews. [...] At 13 years old, the message from our culture was clear to me. I felt the need to cover my body and to inhibit my expression and my work in order to send my own message to the world that I’m someone worthy of safety and respect. The response to my expression from small comments about my body to more threatening, deliberate statements, served to control my behavior through an environment of sexual terrorism.

A world in which I could wear whatever I want, say whatever I want, and express my desire however I want without fearing for my physical safety or reputation that would be the world in which female desire and sexuality could have its greatest expression and fulfillment. That world we want to build is the opposite of puritanical. So I’d like to propose one way to continue moving this revolution forward. Let’s declare loud and clear: This is what I want. This is what I need. This is what I desire. This is how you can help me achieve pleasure. To people of all genders here with us today, let’s find a space where we mutually, consensually look out for each other’s pleasure, and allow the vast, limitless range of desire to be expressed. Let’s make a revolution of desire.

A world in which I could wear whatever I want, say whatever I want, and express my desire however I want without fearing for my physical safety or reputation that would be the world in which female desire and sexuality could have its greatest expression and fulfillment. That world we want to build is the opposite of puritanical. So I’d like to propose one way to continue moving this revolution forward. Let’s declare loud and clear: This is what I want. This is what I need. This is what I desire. This is how you can help me achieve pleasure. To people of all genders here with us today, let’s find a space where we mutually, consensually look out for each other’s pleasure, and allow the vast, limitless range of desire to be expressed. Let’s make a revolution of desire.